Erotic, but also a little pornographic

Which is the difference between eroticism and pornography?

I want to be clear, I really like sex... especially if it is also seasoned with a bit of perversion, and I am convinced that on sex you cannot write using shrewdness, grace and kindness, paying attention to the words you use. The sex, the real one, the one that makes you fly and makes you forget everything, is instinct and as such it must be treated, even when you describe it, exactly like when you do it. For this reason, I do not sometimes disdain the use of explicit, obscene, even vulgar terms. Otherwise everything seems insipid to me. While if there is something I love, they are very tasty dishes.

The problem, if anything, is that to be able to describe by staying on this side of that thin line that separates eroticism from pornography, without ever crossing over it.

If I think of eroticism, I think of what is the philosophy of my life. So far, I have never considered myself a pornographic - and I am sure I have really seen and made all colors - and I have always been convinced that, more than an art form, eroticism represents our action: how we do it. How we behave in the most varied situations of life. If you are erotic, you are it independently of what you do; you’re erotic driving the car, walking down the street, talking on the phone. You are erotic even repairing the faucet at home. And it is indeed in all on such occasions, those in which eroticism has nothing to do at all, that those who are truly erotic express it more.

But can one be erotic and at the same time also pornographic? Can the two things mix? Or does one thing exclude the other? And what is the true border between eroticism and pornography?

I believe that the female body has evolved so much in its beauty, that today it can be considered exciting for both men and women. But it is because of the great pornography industry that has developed around everything that many women have the tendency to rebel against the idea of being defined for what their physical appearance is, deeming themselves disqualified if they are taken into consideration for their beautiful ass, or for their tits, before being appreciated for their thoughts.

On the other hand, I am inclined to believe that one thing does not exclude the other, and that both, the body and the mind, must be equally valued, if possible made beautiful, as beautiful as possible, for pleasure, to attract interest, to satisfy the atavistic female need - which is also masculine - to be admired and desired. So, I think there is nothing wrong with cultivating both the body and the mind to increase the pleasure and joy of living of those around us today, and of those we will meet in the future.

If sex and sensuality are an important and pleasant part of life, from which both men and women derive enjoyment, the art that depicts or describes the beauty of sexuality is not necessarily humiliating for the female gender, and it is with the use of such images or with somewhat daring stories, that both gender are stimulated. Even if men and women respond to all this in a very different way.

But is there a difference between pornography and eroticism?

Surely there is, although it is still not clear to me whether it is just a question of form or even substance. There are those who say that pornography is characterized by always being sexually explicit, therefore not necessarily provocative and exciting - especially if the people involved do not seem to have fun, and it is clear that they are moved first of all by seeking a profit rather than a pleasure.

They say that if there is something that steals people's dreams, crystallizing their erotic imagery and freezing any whimsical fantasy, this is pornography, with its stories all the same and those scenes that, over time, often disappoint expectations and force people to always look for new situations and new material to get excited about.

But every "new" offer of pornography after the first five minutes is already "old": the protagonists all look alike, they all do more or less the same things, and their sexual organs are exposed like pieces of meat to the market. And dreams, fantasies, emotions, are absolutely not contemplated. Everything is reset to the minimum terms, to the simple explicit representation of erotic subjects or obscene facts, for commercial purposes for those who produce them, voluptuousness for those who consume them. In essence, in all this the artistic intent is totally absent.

Eroticism, on the other hand, is generally less explicit from the point of view of images, but it always turns out to be sexually exciting. This is precisely because eroticism is more artistic than pornography in capturing the form and beauty of the human body in its most profound representations of emotions, especially lust and desire, treating sexual intercourse in relation to feeling or a situation that involves all the senses, not just the sight.

Thus it seems that eroticism, whether it is representational or descriptive, always portrays a healthy sexuality, more "sensual", and obviously a more joyful, exciting, intimate, interesting, pleasant, free sex, while pornography expresses the side more "dark" than the person, the most perverse, and the one we would never confess.

I can also agree. After all, it is clearly evident that femininity is more compatible with eroticism than it is with pornography, which, on the other hand, I think is well suited to men because of their more explicit, direct and outspoken sexuality .

But if this is so, why this perversion of mine? Why do I sometimes think and write things that are not erotic at all, but are just pornographic? Indeed, even more pornographic than what can get to imagine any man?

I can assume that all this is in some way related to my "modified" sexuality after so many years in which I "used" it purely for commercial purposes. In essence, I sold pieces of my body, just like in pornography. And besides, "pornography" is a word that comes from the Greek (porne - prostitute and graphe - drawing) and is a representation of sex without feelings; what is done, precisely, with prostitutes, in occasional, impersonal encounters, often violent.

At this point, everything would be clear: I am erotic for how I act, I eat, I walk, I write, I look, I drive the car, I fix the faucet at home... for how I make love, and a thousand other reasons. Ultimately for how I live. But at the same time I'm also pornographic for what I've done in life that I really liked.

Chiara Di Notte

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